


Not So Secret Secret

by Velace



Series: Random Moments [18]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Crack, Mild Language, Swan Queen Silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 06:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3800560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velace/pseuds/Velace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Emma is a dork</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Secret Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Best prompt ever. No sarcasm intended. Seriously. Dorky!Emma is my weakness, as are sassy Evil Queens but we'll leave that for another time.

"Weirdos," Emma mutters as she exits the diner and makes her way down the street toward the station. When she left her parents apartment this morning, she thought it was just Snow and Charming being odd—as she has begun to realize they can be from time to time, their existence as fairy tale characters aside. They kept looking at her strangely, barely saying more than one word to her before she had to leave for work. By lunch time, she had brushed it off and made her way to the diner where it seemed the whole town had been infected with an intense desire to stare at her for no apparent reason.

She's positive she'll have some kind of complex at the end of the day.

Does her hair change colour when she isn't looking? Did she grow a third nipple on her forehead? Honestly, the questions she started asking herself are only getting more ridiculous by the second. She contemplated snapping at Red to 'spit it out' when she noticed her friend wasn't immune to the exact same behavior but thought better of it at the last minute.

Whatever is going on, the last thing she wants is her paranoia alienating everyone.

_Maybe everyone but me is just having a bad day._

_Or maybe they're all on their period._

_Men included._

She shakes her head, offering up an eye roll to her brain as she sips at her coffee and saunters into the station. Immediately, she notices the dull tapping sound coming from inside the main office and it is readily apparent to her that someone has been awaiting her return. Her first thought is Henry before she remembers he's at school, then she thinks of Hook and her eyes narrow in irritation because she is so not in the mood for that. Ever. Freaky mood or otherwise.

When she enters the office, she's overcome by a sudden urge to slap herself in the head because _of course_ it would be Regina sitting there, in the exact chair Emma had sat in all morning because there's a strange odor in her office that she hasn't gotten around to exterminating yet.

_Probably something in the desk._

"Hmm," she hums thoughtfully, drawing chestnut eyes to her as she takes the visitor's chair opposite Regina and pretends the brunette isn't there. She tends to do that a lot because it annoys the Mayor and she's fairly certain the entire purpose of her birth had been to irritate the ever-loving shit out of the woman.

She reaches across the desk for the paperwork she'd been working on before her stomach decided to re-enact sounds from Jurassic Park, and almost jumps out of her skin when Regina clamps a hand down on her wrist. She tries to tug it free, to no avail, before resigning herself to only having one hand as she sets her coffee down and slides the paperwork to her side of the desk.

"Miss Swan," Regina sighs and releases her hulk-like grip.

Emma lets her hand fall, leaving it where it lands and retrieving her pen with the other. She kind of misses the warmth now, if she's being honest. She rarely is where Regina is concerned. "Ms Mills," she replies, eyebrow rising knowingly.

There's another sigh before, "Emma," and she looks up with a smirk.

"Yes?"

"Last night," Regina says, averting her gaze and looking anywhere _but_ Emma as she continues. "I was somewhat… intoxicated and I may have said some things I shouldn't have."

"Did you threaten to kill my mother again?" Emma groans, smacking her pen against the desk. "Is that why the town is acting like we're in the Twilight Zone? They think the Evil Queen has returned and I need to destroy her?"

"You couldn't destroy your way out of a wet paper bag," Regina retorts, stare deadpan as Emma feigns a look of offense. She totally could, probably. Definitely, if there was food involved as a reward. "I imagine they were staring at you because they were giving themselves ulcers resisting the urge to spill secrets that aren't theirs to tell."

"Let me guess," she drawls. "You're in love with me and shouted it for the world to hear."

"What?" Regina snaps, shooting to her feet. "How did you… who…" She growls. "Who told you? I'm going to kill them!"

Emma blinks slowly up at her. "That was your secret? _Really?_ Tell me, Regina, in your deluded little world; am I blind, stupid, or both? Your secret is about as secret as my mother's love for furry animals. Which is, admittedly, weird as fuck but not a secret at all."

"You," Regina stutters, expression contorting first in confusion, then anger before finally settling on annoyed. "You knew? How the hell did you know?"

Giving up on the idea of getting any work done, Emma leans back in her seat with the shake of her head. "Alright, let's see shall we?" She raises a hand, fingers extended toward the ceiling as she lists the first five things that come to mind. "1, you're in here every single day for one reason or another—most of them utterly bullshit. 2, for absolutely no reason, you started inviting me over for dinner every Saturday."

Regina opens her mouth, likely to protest, but Emma wags her three fingers in reproach and carries on. "3, you send Henry here at least once a week, with baked goods, and expect me to believe he conned you into baking them for me. 4, you can't stop staring at me when you think I'm not looking. 5, we spent two days together, driving to New York to find your boyfriend who you decided wasn't your Happy Ending, the exact same day you happened to wake up, sprawled on top of me in our hotel room. Shall I go on?"

"You…" Regina huffs. "You're ridiculous."

"Aww," Emma coos, smirking as it pulls a glare in her direction. "I love you too, babe."

"Absolutely n—what?"

"You heard me," she replies, waving a hand as she picks up her pen and turns back to her paperwork. "Now go away, I have work to do."


End file.
